Merry christmas 2008

Merry Christmas!!!'
Merry X'mas
X1X2X3X4
"生蛋“快乐
圣诞快乐
みんなさんーメリークリスマス

幸福套餐

这就是无聊人做的无聊事
也许这个假期太无聊吧！
收到朋友寄来的小玩意，一时兴起，就玩着过时间，copy&paste。

幸福套餐

第一：被點者請在自己的 BLOG裏寫下答案
第二：請傳另外十位的人.=)
第三：傳閱人‘請在于這十位當中鬥留言版’ 告知他(她) 被點名了..
第四：這當中的十位的人‘不得拒絕’
第五：被點者‘請注明被誰點暸’ 在哪接到‘在傳給下十位’
第六：這些被點名者’ 你們被點會得到祝福‘並且願望會實現’ 也會得到幸福.^^

幸福套餐 NO.1 ♥
1. 你的綽號 : gwen
2. 年齡 : 18
3. 生日 : 21/05/1990
4. 星座 : 双子座
5. 興趣 : --
6. 專長 : 什么地方都能睡

幸福套餐 NO.2 ♥
1. 你有沒有喜歡的人? : 呃..也许我不懂什么叫喜欢..
2. 是否在交往? : 从没交往过
3. 現在幸福嗎? : 还不错
4. 如果上天給你勇氣，最想做什麽事? : 地狱与天堂游行
5. 如果有天,你愛的人跟你告白的話? : 就慢慢等待那天咯...

幸福套餐 NO.3 ♥
1. 點你的人是 : 爱琪
2. 他是妳的 : 老朋友+老同学
3. 他的個性? : 对他不怎么了解 不过还蛮谈得来
4. 認識他多久? : 几年了...超过四年吧
5. 你覺得他怎樣? : 还蛮不错的
6. 你想對他說什麽 : 希望你永远幸福，一天比一天更幸福

幸福套餐 NO.4 ♥
1. 最愛的節目 : 搞笑类
2. 最愛的音樂 : 能令人舒服的melody
3. 最愛的季節 : 春天
4. 最愛的卡通 : 没有所谓的最爱，只有所谓的不爱
5. 最愛的人 : 家人
6. 最愛的顔色 : 紫 白
7. 最愛的國家 : 本国 澳洲 日本 台湾 中国
8. 最愛的天氣 : 气候爽朗

幸福套餐 NO.5 ♥
1. 如果上天給你三個願望:
a) 心想事成
b) 所有我遇过的人都能找到幸福
c) 每个人都能拥有健康的身体，所有卧病的人都能尽快康复
2. 你是很專一的人嗎 : 是吧
3. 最深刻的回憶 : 还没过完我的人生，没有事情可以肯定的成为我的最深刻
4. 你是個很有信心的人嗎? : 一般
5. 你很愛微笑嗎 : 爱
6. 如果你要放棄你現在的生活,你願意嗎: 偶尔想，不过还是有一百个不愿意盖过愿意
7. 妄想什麽樣的生活 : 没有忧虑，只有快乐
8. 是否橫刀奪愛才是愛 : 不认同

調卷到此結束‘點人者請至于被點者的留言版’ 告知被點名了.

點名名單：
kj, etc, jookim, shuying, linxin, moo, keon, linn, grace, yanshin

The day before SAM musical

20th nov.The day before our SAM musical performance.Everyone is anticipating it.Every class wants to show their hard work to the audiences.I am sure everyone will present the best performance.Haiz....Muscle pain,cramp....The day before performance,accidentally hurt the legs muscles.It has pain to the max while squatting down.Yet,continue dancing.We want the perfect performance in our own point of views,which may not be the best for others.Ya,we can do it.
The first time i dance after the dancing contest 10 years ago.Dancing becomes unfamiliar to me although i was the main character in the dance group before.This has proven something.Time can change a person.I am totally worse in dancing nowadays.Dancing should be a trivial thing for many people,but it becomes quiet hard for me to dance well now.Practising for the whole week brings the consequence that everyone is suffering from muscle pain.Tomorrow will be our show time.We will dance by heart.We will present the ever best performance.It will be a perfect performance.We will win some applause from the audiences tomorrow.J6,we can do it!!!Gambateh..!!
Everyone,please has a nice sleep tonight!!Please take care of ur legs before the performance.Please remember,legs are the most important tool for dancers!!!

p/s:Looking forward to see myself dancing in a punjabi suit....It should be ridiculous....xD

Short life span

19th dec 2009,early in the morning,6.57,your msg woke me up.A shocking msg.I thought i have read the wrong thing in drowsiness.I read the msg again and again.I didnt see the wrong thing.Yup,it's from you,early in the morning,brought a shocking news for me.
9th dec 2009,again,u brought a shocking news for me about the same person.He's admitted to hospital.The report stated he was almost suffocated and the condition was worse than last time but the doctor managed to rescue him.'He is getting better now,he is still a healthy person.Haha" That day,you still can tell me briskly. "I'll be fine." "Please dont fret and tell others not to fret either." That moment,I thought your dad was better already.
On the 11th day after 9th dec,you told me the news,a more shocking news than that day,your dad has crossed over(I prefer not to use the word passed or slipped away as it seems and heard like a melancholic word).Your dad went on the 10th day after the sudden attacked of his old friend--stroke.I am sure you were rubbing your eyes with despair at the moment your dad stopped breathing.Perhaps you will blame the doctor,treatment........Yet,this is a truth,it has happened,we cant change the fate nor the happening.Fate is like a barrister,the results has been sentenced cant be changed.I heard your mom has been crying for hours.So,the only thing you can do at this particular moment is "stay strong".Dont collapse nor cry.Be cheer.Dont increase the burden of your mom.She wont get out from the sadness if you continue to be in the sad mode.
I just realised that human has such a short life span.I apologise for cant attend the funeral,my mom doesnt allow.My dad will go tonight.I send my regard through him.I will visit you after the funeral.Stay strong.

透过眼镜的世界

又是一项观察
对所有眼镜佩戴者的观察
戴上眼镜
有一种世界突然清晰地开展的感觉

验眼
定度数
佩戴它
刹那间，世界突然明朗起来
所有的东西都看得一清二楚了

想：清晰和模糊之间的差距
竟然如此的大
那么，没有眼镜的以往，
是否都在模模糊糊的看世界呢？？

把世界看得清楚
把世界看的模糊
那个悬着才是最佳选择
50/50

Hospital...Memories...

Finally,back to malaysia..back to my home..my bed..15days away,how are u guys??haha...dont worry,i did buy something for u guys.The biggest souvenir i bought for myself is being admitted to the hospital there.
Painful,fainting,vomitting,bitter medicines.....one more thing,needles and having intravenous drip.These are the memories and souvenirs i bought and brought for myself.Looking at the scars after needling and intraveneous dripping,argh...NEEDLES..I detested needles,i abominated,abhorred...haiz..what a memories for me??Vomitted for more than 16times per days.Drank water,vomitted;ate something,vomitted...Nothing was edible for me at that moment.The condition continued for 4days.The stomach was empty.Nothing was acceptable by it.Naughty stomach,why u made ur owner suffering.U have done a wrong deed,u have caused a serious gastric for ur healthy owner.What was the cause of all these??I still dont know,even now.
Thanks to the sisters,doctors and crews in Methodist Hospital.Thanks to all my beloved aunts and uncles that rushed me to clinics and hospital.Thanks to grandpa that slept late because of me too.Thanks to god granpa and grandma that rushed for my medicine.THANKS to mom,thanks for ur caring,accompanying...Mom,sorry for making u didn’t sleep for 2 days.I will get well soon.Enjoy ur trip and moment with ur family.Dont worry about home.We take care of it well.Me,the troublesome person,wont want to fall sick again,I will keep myself healthy.
Anyway,there are still some nice memories during the trip.Toba lake,safari,The Sun Mall…..God grandpa house that is built like a palace;swimming pool,delicious dishes,the 50’ LCD TV screen+all the up-to-date movies’ DVDs…Haha…Such a princess life there.
I will recharge myself to the full mode and enjoy to the fullest too. Continue enjoying holiday,guys.

Sorry

Finally,i finished the last paper...went through the hell-like and torturing week,days,hours,moments...Again,slept for 90mins only today.slept at 3something,woke up at 5am.The bus system damn worst.It coerced us to wake up so early to catch up with the bus schedule even we have exam at 11.30am.Sleep deprivation everyday.Consequence:lower health level...
7th nov,i wanted to write something out,but,i didnt..The condition was quite terrible,swollen eyes,couldnt concentrate on revision,trying 2hide the feeling from revealing to others...It was very difficult to do so.It was so hard to control 'it' from flowing out.It is a natural phenomenon,everyone will do that unconsciously.Yet,i was doing in the opposite way,trying to oppose it.I didnt want it to be revealed.I didnt want my mood become an influence on others as well.Nevertheless,i couldt manage to control it at the moment mom and dad called.Initially,i just wanted to tell mom about my results,but,i lost the self control after hearing ur voice.I indeedly wanted to go back,especially at that particular moment.U asked me not to bother about it,u asked me concentrate on the coming exam first...However,it is easier to say than realizing it.Then,dad called as well.Again,"it" fell down unconsciously.In the sobbing voice,i was trying to stop it.Sorry,mom dad,i didnt want to make u all worrying about me,but,that day was really down.Perhaps,i have controlled myself from expressing it out in the school,i have tried hard to pretend that i was in an ok mood;but,in the other side deeply in the heart,it was totally distinct from what have been expressed out.Sorry,truly sorry,i didnt do my best that day,i wasted the chance given...Now,need to retake by own payment.I didnt want to burden u all,but i knew u guys have promised to "sponsor" me for the retaking(it maybe an unfair treatment for other siblings).Nvm,i will find my way out when the moment reaches.One thing i should appreciate is,there was no one in the unit while the incident happened,except Z,she saw it,but she didnt understand our conversation.She is so nice as she didnt tell other hsmts,she did the right decision for not to troubling others by my thing(trivial thing).Thanks to kuan that asked me not to keep the mood as u accidentally heard parents' conversation...Drawbacks:The pillow got wet that day,swollen eyes,didnt do any revision,slept for the whole day....
p/s:however,i found that it is a good way of reducing sadness,but it may be better if no ppl were around,then no one will get influence by my mood...
Today,just finished last paper.The first time did math until so frustrated.The first time unsure about so many ques.The first time calculator brought trouble in exam....Yet,i think this is just the starting,there same situation will be happened more than once in the future.Haiz,starting from now...from now onwards...a stronger version of nyw will occur.It will be stronger than nyw before,which was an incredible and the strongest girl in secondary school...Everyone has perceived me as a strong lady,a very strong lady,a lady that will never collapse..yet,every person has their weaknesses.I just didnt show the weaker part in school as i was holding some pose that didnt allow me to be weak or appear to be weak.However,i have indeed relaxed myself after moving to the tertiary stage of life..I didnt want 2 appear as a strong,strict,unapproachable person anymore...It benefits me.I dont need to be the best in every situation.But,from today onwards,a new version will appear.No tear is allowed.No collapse is allow.Yet,this version wont back to the same as secondary stage,it will be slightly weaker than that period,but stronger in some aspects...This will be the evidence and reference in the future.Ahhh...but,let myself enjoy to the fullest before the evolution..Enjoy to the craziest stage....

观察

冷漠 有时候并不是无情，
只是一种避免被伤害的工具

付出真心，才会得到真心；
却也可能被伤到彻底；
保持距离，才能真正的保护自己；
却也注定永远寂寞

朋友 就是把你看透了，
还喜欢和你做朋友的人

好朋友 并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题；
而是在一起，就算不说话，也不会感到尴尬

就算是believe，
中间也藏了一个lie字

Surrounding

Down....Down...I could see "down" whenever I went. People around are down. Almost everyone is down. I don’t like this condition. I don’t like to be surrounded by melancholy, heavyhearted...I afraid of this situation, it will make me down, it will put me to the same situation. I want to navigate away from these. Everyone is still stagnant at the past,perhaps,including me.Perhaps,past has given the sweetest memories, the unforgettable memories, the delightful moments,etc.I want those to be in both my heart and world. I don’t want it to disappear or fade away over times.
Mom,dad,U are always the sweetest, the best.U provide everything that i want,but i cant own all of them.It is caused by the forces of surrounding as well.Again,surrounding disappoints me.i dont want to back in the jail again.Sometimes,I cant stand the harshing reality. I want to back to the warm place again. I want to back to the place that is full of love again.Yet,I must not regret of my own decison and i wont regret of whatever i have made.Kuan,I want to back there to listen to your complaining,gossiping too.Moreover,I want u to be my listener too. Tell me more about the current happenings at home,dont treat me as a stranger. I dont want to be the last one to know everything that happened.I felt like i am no more the member of u all,i didnt know u have been sent to hospital,i didnt know what problems u all are facing...Please,just tell me,dont bother about the interruption of my mood and studies. I am still ok with that,i can bare it.I just want to know the things that I should know.
Ok...Somethings i should keep to ownself(v,I want to talk to u,i cant keep them anymore,the heart is too small,not enough capacity to hide all my other sides from revealing to others),shouldnt publish it here.V,i knew that day we didnt have much time,with ur dad around,i am looking forward to the moment both of us in the same room,chat until late night again,u told many of urs,and me,be the good silent listener.And u are my best listener too,u saw every side of me,u saw my tears,u saw the moment an incredible person collapsed,u saw her weaknesses as well.I dont need to hide anything from u,the real of me is totally revealed in front of u.However,we seldom will be in the same condition again,north and south, hundreds of miles away.I cant express everything out,but i hope u can see it.I am too tired for both my soul and body.I also want a shoulder to rest,maybe,the bed is the best and the safest shoulder i could have for now.Besides that,ur smile has indeed be my happy agent before but i am always need to be the happy agent here instead of waiting for someone to delight me.On account of the conditions where the wills of making all the people around to be in happy modes exist,i am willing to be the delighting tool for them.As long as everyone is happy to be here,everyone is slowly navigating away from the bad mood since they have been here,i will gain the benefit too.I will be slowly enchanted by the surrounding as well.Hopefully,before the heart dying of the overloaded and explodes,u will be there for me.

Torturing journey

OMG!!What a day i have had today....Torturing???Terrible???Scary???Nono...There is no any proper word to describe it.At first,it should be an exciting and anticipating journey,but how come it turned the other way??
The night before,slept for less than 4hours,preparing myself to end the "regiment" of the troubling and frustrating IELTS today.Will the "war" be successful??Will i gain the success under the lacking of sleep condition??Hope so.I knew i didnt do the best,may be it can be explained by several reasons(self-handicapping)......The moment i heard the sentence "pen off" by the head of invigilator for the last time after the few hours in L7.24 of TBS,i would like to jump up and rush to the door;yet,i didnt do so(high self-monitor)...(another application of psych term in daily life)...This should be the starting of an delightful day right???However,the truth totally opposed my thinking...
1pm,reached casa,had lunch,bathed,packed,washed.....2something ald..waiting for the person who has promised to accompany us(or "protect" us on the way to the bus stop).Perhaps,the person misanalysed the message,came down later than my expected time after the delivering of another message.The condition was worst as the old friend--severe migraine came that period.Everything appeared in front was rotating.I didnt tell others about what i felt that particular moment,but lc knew it few moments before going out to bus stop.Moreover,i rejected the panadol offered as i afraid i will fall asleep while waiting for the bus,then it will certainly result in missing the bus.Nevertheless,the conclusion was same.I missed the bus!!I reached there late and the bus went earlier than the predicted time as well.The whole way from casa to the bus stop has already taken up a longer time than usual.It is all caused by the stupid migraine!!I needed to slower down my steps.Luckily,my heavy big bag was carried by someone,this has indeed reduced my burden.Thanks for carrying it the whole way to the bus stop.Thanks to another person for helping to carry my backpack while waiting for the bus to my next destination.U guys have helped a lot today.Thanks to lc for worrying about my condition.
Waited for the bus for half an hours,sat on the bus to the next destinaton also took up 45minutes.However,the worst part was it has left 30minutes more to catch the arranged bus schedule.I have predicted that i may miss the bus while on the way to there.Ya,the prediction was right.I MISSED it!!!Reached there 20minutes later than the time stated in the bus schedule.Then,i started to ask from counter to counter for another ticket to go back,rushed here and there like a mad person.Yet,i got the same answer from them,the earliest bus will be at 11.30pm.What??If i buy the ticket,what should i do for the 5or6 hours while waiting for the next bus???NoNo...I should look for alternatives.Finally,i got one,but the bus wont reach my hometown,the last station is one state before my hometown.Ok,without much consideration,i bought it to satisfy the "enthusiasm" of going back.One more barrier to overcome,i didnt bring much cash with me as the robbery rates is increasing nowadays.Trying to look for ATM to withdraw $$ for the ticket.While withdrawing,the heart was pounding like hell,everyone around seemed like bad people(perhaps that was my own thinking,watched too many gruesome murdering movies and read too many thrillers).Some of them approached me while i was withdrawing $$,some of them stared at me....WOW,such a scary experience of withdrawing money!!
Finally,i got the ticket at an extremely expensive price.It has indeed burned a hole in my pocket,wasted the ticket bought before and spent extra money to buy another one.The total cost to go back has been the amount for me to and fro from casa to sp,it even will be some money left after buying the tickets with the same amount of $$ spent for the single route today.Haiz...Running to the platform stated with the super heavy big bag consisted of "tonnes"of books.I was shocked when there was no one waiting at the platform at the moment i reached there.But,the people arrived one by one after 15mins.Ther were only 8of us.We followed a guy to our bus after waiting for more than half an hour at the platform with all the smoke emmited by the buses there...Coughing and sweating+migraining..a BAD CONDITION.The walk to our bus also took up 15mins,passing by streets and streets.
Woah...got into the bus already..Nope,it is squeezed into the bus.Oh gosh!!No seat?!?!The company is so unethical,selling the ticket for extra ordinary price for me with a fulled bus??The temper has indeed increased to the max.I stood for more than 5hours throughout the journey from KL to Penang with the heavy backpack.After an hour on the bus,my shoulders and legs were extremely aching.Both my soul and body were so tired and dizzy.I felt like wanna collapse already.The tears also at the edge of eyes already,but i didnt allow those things to happen.Am I acting strong??Anyway,if i didnt think positively,i would have been mad after few hours.One thing to mention,thanks to the person that concerned about my condition with messages.Thanks to lc for reminding me to eat,but i didnt bring any food along.Thanks for M that consoling me with messages and keeping touch with me in order to help me raising my energy.Thanks to B that wished me the best luck for my journey.Thanks to the person that lent me phone to contact my dad when my phone batt was empty.Ahh...i can see my parents from the window already,they quickly helped me to carry my bag at the moment i went down from bus.Parents are always the sweethest.Dad even thought of bringing me to supper,but i refused as i missed my home and bed too much.Although that moment i cant walked properly with the aching legs,i still pretended to be ok,i didnt want them to see my worst condition.I should be praised in this pretending part(too exaggerate??)as they totally didnt notice it.
This was written in the dizziness and drowsiness.I decided to write it down as a reference for me in the future.It would be a good reference and consoling material whenever i cant bare with the stresses around anymore.Today,the very special moment has proven that i can be such strong exceeding my expectation.Ok,good night to myself.Wish me having a peaceful night.I will let my collpasing body to lie on the familiar bed and have a good rest tonight.It is approaching 3am already.I have expressed all the feeling,feel relief now.Bye to pc.

The first time felt like writing something here...(1st entry)

23th of October....The 1st time i wrote something here.Perhaps,i am not an expressive person,i dont use to express my feeling and thinking to the world.Perhaps,I cant stand to keep everything to myself anymore(I clearly knew that be more expressive is a good thing and i might live happier and ....).Perhaps,the feeling arose after writing journal.I hate to write journal when the mentor compiled us to write a journal in accordance with the Personal Learning Program(PLP) carried out by my college.I spent few days time attempting to do or think of something to "fit" in the 1st journal.That moment,I wanted to tell everyone that writing a journal is a dreadful thing.Yet,it might not be the same for others,it might be just a trivial thing for others.Well,i still ended up with handing in the 1st journal that i have written since i was born(it is indeed a long period--18years).
I have tried to write something on my blogs since long long time ago.Weeks,months or years...However,everytime it will be ended up with blank page.At last,today,23102008,i wrote something here.The main motivation is my own will to strengthen my english.This is the reason i chose to write in english.Perhaps,I do indeed not knowing myself in full or I still have not acquainted with myself.This may be another thing that has put me on this blog.The only reason I chose to write here among all the blogs i have is this blog space has higher confidentiality than others.So,i perceived that no ppl or perhaps not much people will be exposed to this...
The whole entry might just describing my own feeling and attitude towards blogging.Nevertheless,I should be proud of myself for the decision made to write an entry here(too boastful...??Haha).